


I Don't Deserve You

by Solstices



Category: Camp Camp (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, David tries to cheer Gwen up, F/M, Fluffy Ending, Gwen has a mental breadown, Hurt/Comfort, Oh god this is kinda angsty, Rated T for two swear words and a mental breakdown, Self Loathing, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Shoutout to Forestwater, This is a thank you gift, Woohoo isn't this fic cringey?, You can fight me on that, and David is there for her, and short, and smells like pine trees, at least I hope it's angsty, david is a great person, gwen really kinda hates herself in this fic, like the kind person he is, sorry it's so short, they are in love your honor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-16 16:08:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29210127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Solstices/pseuds/Solstices
Summary: She lets out a tiny sob as she shakes like a leaf. A chill runs through her body, the only warmth on her coming from David. She feels so nauseous, like she could throw up. For David to be her, with her, during all this is way too much for her. She hates it, she hates it, she hates it. But a tiny part of her, one that is hidden deep down, loves it. She knows she deserves the pain, and justice is finally coming to reach.A Gift for Forestwater
Relationships: David & Gwen (Camp Camp), Gwen/David, Gwenvid
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	I Don't Deserve You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Forestwater](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Forestwater/gifts).



> Welp, Here we go! This is a Thanks fic for the great Forestwater for helping me out on my journey to creating "Alpha" and giving me some self confidence along the way. So, uh, Thanks for that. Also, Thanks for keeping me entertained during this stupid lockdown, and for writing great ass fics. Also, fun fact, Foreswater's fic "Spleunk" was the first CC fic I ever read. Im getting off topic. Whatever, enjoy this short one-shot!

Gwen couldn’t be in love with David. On every account, it didn’t make sense. The way his stupid hair defied gravity, and his sea green eyes were caring enough to melt hearts. That was never Gwen’s type, and it never would be. She was always about dark, edgy men who were hopefully paranormal. But David? No, she would never go after him.

But yet, she did. She felt her heart flutter whenever David touched her hand. She woke up earlier to relax with him in the mess hall. She didn’t mind doing favors for him, and loved it when he looked at her. He looked at her like she was worth something. Like she was someone special. It was something foreign to her, something that she had never known.

The way he made her coffee in the mornings, the way he made her dinner on tough days, the way he helped her fold her laundry. It made her chest pound, and it hurt. He was too kind, too gentle, too perfect. She just wanted to crawl into a hole and stay there forever. It hurt, it hurt, it hurt, and she wanted it to stop.

The way he said her name, like a small, calming whisper. The way he glanced at her, it made her feel different. 

And it was horrible.

Gwen was now stuck in tears, antidepressants in one hand and her heart in the other. She throws the bottle of pills across the room, hitting the door with a loud wham. She sinks to the floor, her vision blurred as she watches the very man she wishes to never see again walks in. 

“Gwen!” He cries, rushing over to his co-counselor. 

She doesn’t look up, her eyes staying down at the broken wooden floor. She clamps her forearms, watching small dots of water appear ground. She feels hands grab at her shoulders, warmth touching her.

“Gwen, are you alright?!” The redhead asks, taking one hand to lift up her chin.

Her purple eyes are clouded, water stains on her cheeks. Loose red oxide colored hairs fell on her broken face, and her mouth was now turned upside down. She lets out a quiet sob, her chest shaking. Her breath is ragged, panic racing into her brain. Time seemed to slow down as she looked David in his bright aquamarine eyes.

“Gwen? Please respond!” He gasps, his eyes wide.

Gwen just nods slightly, an indifferent answer in her head.

“Yes, I’m fine, I think,” She responds, her voice cracking.

He pulls her into a tight hug, which makes her sob even harder. He lightly pats her back, trying to give her any reassurance.

“You’re ok, I promise,” He says.

Gwen nods sharply again, attempting to take a deep breath. He detects what she’s trying to do, and breathes along with her.

“Hey, hey. Focus on me, alright? Breath with me,” He says, his voice steady.

She lets out a tiny sob as she shakes like a leaf. A chill runs through her body, the only warmth on her coming from David. She feels so nauseous, like she could throw up. For David to be her, with her, during all this is way too much for her. She hates it, she hates it, she hates it. But a tiny part of her, one that is hidden deep down, loves it. She knows she deserves the pain, and justice is finally coming to reach.

“What’s going on?” David asks, pulling away slightly, not leaving her touch.

She lets out a cough, and whimpers following it quickly. She sounds like a wounded dog, but that doesn’t seem to matter to David.

“Did something happen? Did your mom call again?” He guesses, trying to figure out his friend's breakdown.

“I…” She starts, her voice cracking off into a groan.

David tries to persist with her questions, each one flying at her faster than the next.

“Did Max insult you?”

Breathe.

“Did you hurt something? Did you get fired from your winter job?”

Breathe.

“What happened?”

Breathe.

She looks up, her feelings morphing into one, letting out a terrible yowl as she cries out her problems.

“It’s you!”  
The shock on his face wants to make her want to cry even more. She lets out small cries as he sinks to the floor, a dumbfounded look in his eye. He looks as if he is about to break down.

“Me?” He asks, his voice cracking with innocence.

“... I don’t deserve you, David. You need to find someone better to help run the camp with, because I’m clearly not it,” She explains, chuckling sadly on the last part.

Tears run down her face as they sit in silence, both not making a sound. For what feels like an eternity, nothing happens. They both bask in the sadness, awaiting for each other to make something. Gwen knows David is contemplating taking her advice. Of course, why wouldn’t he? She really wasn’t worth it in the end, and he was smart enough to know that.

“Gwen, do you really think that?”

The sound that leaves his mouth is a soft whisper, causing Gwen to look up at him. His face was twisted with despair, his usual happy expression gone. Gwen’s eyes mist over like a foggy lavender field as she wipes her eyes.

“Yes. Find someone better, David. Find someone who shares your love of camping, your love of nature, your love for this job. You need to find someone better than me,” She weeps, turning away from his eyes.

David rests backwards, blown away by what he had just heard. Small tears prickle at his eyes, causing him to wipe them away.

“Oh, Gwen…” He sighs, looking at her with pity.

“I know, I know. I’ll quit so you don’t have to pay me severance, and I can have my stuff out by tomorrow,” She gets up, almost as if she had done this before.

He gets up as well, resting his hand on her forearm.

“Who said I wanted you to leave?’ He smiles through his tears, gripping tighter onto her arm.

Gwen looks back with pure shock, surprised by his response. It seems as if she is contemplating what he just said, as if he was talking in latin. Gwen glares her eyes, her face settling in a comfortable frown.

“Trust me, you’ll want me too. Everyone asks me too sooner or later, I’d rather do it now,” Gwen pauses.

Once again, the silence overwhelms the room. Gwen fills with regret, pulling her arm away. The memories come flooding back, and she falls to the floor. She’s exhausted, so tired of her emotions. She just wanted to be numb, to be away from here, to be not here. Her tears have stopped, the feeling of being dried out overwhelming her. A booming headache taking over makes her flinch, but her focus finally rests on David. His skin is pale, his hair dropped over one eye. His eyes are dull, completely faded like a seastorm instead of it’s normal tropical ocean color.

“Gwen…” He says, trailing off.

She turns around, trying to figure out what she should do. She should run, she should hide, she should not be here. She could leave right now, and never look back. She could stay in town, stay with someone there. She could get a job at a market place, or move out of town. She could be someone’s roommate, and never see David again. Never see his bright smile, never smell his pine scent, never be with him again. She could run.

But yet, she couldn’t.

“Gwen, can we talk about it?” David asks, his voice gentle as if he could scare Gwen off.

No, she doesn’t want to. But she knows she has too.

“Alright,” She relents, letting David drag her to her bed.

“I may not have a psych degree, but maybe I could help?” He asks, getting a nod from Gwen.

“W-Where do you want me to start?” She stutters, clearly embarrassed at her current situation.

David hesitates, then decides an answer.

“What were you crying about earlier? What did I do?’ David asks, getting a small couch from Gwen.

Gwen avoids his eyes, not wanting to speak up. She stares at the ground, hoping the wood would give her a lie to give David. She should give him a lie, but David knows her too well. He would know instantly if she was lying. He wasn’t as naive as he seemed, and he had picked up on a few of her habits by now. So, maybe she could go for a middle ground.

“I don’t deserve you. All you do for me, the little things, I notice. It just… I can’t take it! You are so much better than me, you just deserve better than me,” She cries lightly, frustration seeping into her voice.

“No I don’t! You’re perfect. I mean- No I meant-” He sputters, flushing red.

That makes Gwen giggle, her face having a tinge of pink to it. They both laugh it off lightly, then watch each other trail off.  
“You really think that?” She smiles for what feels like forever.

David nods slowly, turning away from Gwen. Gwen giggles lightly, letting her face blush lightly. She rubs the back of neck, not really sure what to say. David also looks away, sweating lightly. He fidgets around, picking at a piece of skin on his hand. 

“You’re wrong, but whatever. Thank you for feeling that way. It’s been a while since someone said something nice about me,” She stutters.

“But I don’t know why! You’re amazing, and- and special, and....” David trails off, his face turning a tomato red.

“David, stop!” Gwen insists, “It’s fine, I get it, you want to make me feel better.”

David just nods, the blush disappearing from his face. He picks up Gwen’s hands, making her heart race. David’s eyes look with hers, and she almost wants to cry again. 

“Look, Gwen. I don’t know why you don’t think of yourself as a good person, but you are! You are just so special, and I just don’t understand,” David admits.

Thoughts and memories come flashing back. Every time she had been kicked out, every breakup that had gone wrong, every time she felt like she just couldn’t recover, everything was coming back.

“David, I don’t understand you. Why you like me, it just doesn’t add up to me. Everyone just hates me, and I understand why, but you don’t. It just doesn’t make sense. Over and over, people have just kinda… left. I don’t know why you haven’t. I think you should just leave me alone,” Gwen monologues, getting cut off by David.

“Gwen!”

Gwen turns towards David with shock in her eyes. He is staring at her, a slight bit of anger in his eyes. She grips her arm, watching David with her orbs. Her breath is caught in her throat, and she can’t breath. They are caught in whatever moment is happening, and both aren’t moving. He smells like pine trees and wildflowers, and something that she couldn’t quite detect. It was perfectly David though, smelling quite like a campfire. It reminded her of all her nights she had spent with David. All the happy times, full of smiles and stars.

“Please don't be so negative about someone I love,” David grins, letting her eyes rest on him.

That hits Gwen like a bus. Did she just hear what she thinks she heard? Memories fade away, and all that is here is what is here right now. Him, someone she had loved for so long, someone that she loves more than anything, loves her back? He loves her.

He

Loves

Her.

It’s real. He’s real, she’s real, the confession is real. She wants it to be real, at least.

“David? You can’t joke about this. You shit-head, don’t joke about this!” She hisses, crying a small bit.

Tears stream down her face, but David wipes them away. He is crying slightly too, and she lets the news set in.

“I am dead fucking serious,” David grins, getting a laugh from Gwen.

“Language,” Gwen reminds, setting them both off laughing.

Gwen pulls David’s face towards hers, and she places her lips on his. Shock flows through both of them, but David quickly responds. Time slows down, and for a second, she just focuses on David. She pulls back lightly, smiling towards him. Their eyes reform to it’s sea green and lavender, and a purely happy smile rests on their faces.

“I think I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, what a wild ride with these two! My god, I love this ship. Anyways, go check out Forestwater's stuff. Also, Alpha may be a few days later than I planned because this might be a bit longer chapter. It's most likely going to be worth the wait. Anyways, Thanks for reading the fic, and have a great day!


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